Everything is about sex

Everything is about sex. When I say this people automatically assume that every experience or every exchange is dirty in my head; however, what I mean by sexual here is that every encounter or exchange is sexual in nature and has some sexual vibrations or energies at work. Even if it is with your family, your brother, sister, mother, father, cousins etc. 

Sexuality in humans is something that emerges and sprouts regardless of however much it is hidden or suppressed, in a country like India, sex and sexuality is a taboo, this makes the sexual expression for people here very difficult and sometimes even non-existent. But it is one thing that comes to surface either directly or indirectly. When men and women are segregated so strictly, the only physical proximity you experience with the opposite gender is through family, leading to incestuous feelings and acts. But just like Oedipus or electra complex this is a stage one needs to pass through in order to reach an understanding of their own sexualities. This is a tricky phase that can very easily lead to abuse or even pedophilia. But from a vantage point when you see it, all encounters have a sexual exchange involved. Sometimes it is potential, sometimes it is internal and sometimes latent, but it is always there. Sexual energies are the only feeling and emotion which cannot be faked, or one cannot just pretend to have them. 

Please don’t get outraged by thinking that I am suggesting that during every exchange all we are thinking about is sex… there is a huge difference between the act of sex and sexual energies which 

every human being carries inside them. These are the vibrations coming from your most vulnerable self that allow you to present your the real self and the most traumatised, exposed self. This contains the crux of all energies you carry. The more you suppress the more coveted, miserable and violent you get.

Thats where myths also come into play, from childhood we are given fables and stories of prince and princesses which leads to sexualising even the early understanding and formation of desires. 

Things like the ‘Mother Earth’ embed in our conscious that even if we shun and shed all identities or relationships imposed on us - partner, family, friends- we will always be a byproduct of nature’s sexual activity between our mother earth and the father who is unknown to us (kinky slut). We have theories for even our dear little virgin mary because we just cannot fathom the idea of a lack of sexual act when we look at a child- even if it is the child of God himself.

The collective consciousness of Jung states that the world is filled with sexual archetypes that form our understanding, behaviours, self and interactions. in that sense then even the act of creating art is sometimes synonymous to coitus or making babies.

This can only mean, if as an artist anything and everything you do or ingest or experience is leading you to the final act of creating art which is equivalent of sex for you, then surely every interaction, reading, emotion that you experience in life is foreplay filled with the thoughts and intentions of leading all this to one great act of intercourse. 

It would be stupid to talk about sexual energies and not talk about desire. The easiest way to start this would be to build on the work of Lacan. Lacan believed that desire is closely linked to the concept of "lack." He posited that human desire is rooted in a fundamental sense of lack or incompleteness. This lack is not necessarily tied to a specific object or need but is a general sense of incompleteness that drives human beings to seek something to fill this void. Meanwhile the desires are being formed it is heavily influenced by ‘The Other’, The Other, in Lacanian terms, refers to the 

symbolic and social structures that shape our identities and perceptions. Lacan argued that desire is often mediated through our interactions with others and is deeply influenced by societal norms and expectations and the Gaze of others imposed on us.

He talks about the object of desire which keeps shifting, is unattainable and is formed in the first place through the gaze of ‘The Other’.

So do we ever experience True Desire? 

What I understand is that we never truly experience true desire but we most certainly hold it and exhibit it without our knowing. The true desire is free from the shackles of the the perception and the gaze of The Other and the pressures of the societal and cultural norms of any society. It is hidden deep inside us and defies even our own understanding of what our desires are and should be as we already established earlier that our understanding is already maligned by external factors. 

But as I said earlier, sexual energies and desires are the most fundamental of emotions and schemas that make us who we are and thus cannot be hidden or suppressed for long. They come out in the most vulnerable manner and we exhibit them in the most trivial of conversations and interactions without our knowing, but everything from our behaviour to what we talk about and how, is driven by this. As it is deeply imbedded in our language and symbolic gestures which then lead to how we exhibit ourselves. And because this desire is unattainable and keeps shifting, this cycle of exhibition never ends. So now when I say “Everything is about sex”, it’s not a pick-up line and this is what I actually mean.